Joe Hart's a goose

Joe Hart needs a holiday from football for a couple of years -- too many mistakes.  How about Hawaii?

Joe Hart: I wanna go to Hawaii

No matter how many times I look at the replay I can't understand what Joe Hart is trying to do here in Man City's recent game with Chelsea in the English Premier League. Toward the end of the game, that was level at one goal a piece, he inexplicably comes out of the penalty box to meet a ball that City defender Nastasic was probably going to get.

Why would you go to a ball that was outside of the penalty box, especially when there were other outfield players nearby?  You should only go out that far if it's a one on one or if you know you can get to the ball well before the attacker gets there.  

Nastasic was heading it when Hart met the ball, and this occurred outside the box, so Hart couldn't have handled it; what could have he have done?

Not only that, he practically tackled Nastasic, putting Torres through on goal by himself.  I don't think he could have done a better job to thwart Nastasic if he tried.

Hart in no man's land. Hart is hitting Nastasic with Torres just to the right of them, who went on to score. From: mcfc.

His excuse is that he was shouting "keeper". Well who can hear that among the noise of the crowd? And what if Nastasic heard Hart and decided he was crazy -- I would have.

I don't think the mix up was Nastasic's fault at all; this was all on Joe Hart.

I thought Hart should have been dropped after letting in two goals in the Champions League game against Bayern Munich.  He let in the first goal against Ribery through weak hands.

Ribery shoots...

...goes straight through Hart's hands for Bayern's first goal in their Champion's League meeting, 3 Oct 2013.

It's time to stop picking people on reputation.  Joe Hart's too big for his boots at the moment and he needs to get back to basics for a year or two.  Maybe if he didn't spend so much time doing shampoo commercials.

Maybe a holiday is too extreme for Hart.  Perhaps he can find a home in an understanding League Two team. I think Manchester City coach Manuel Pellegrini would be crazy to make him the number one keeper again this season, and should ditch him at the end, or maybe the summer transfer window. 

Hart means a goal lost every three or four games right now for City; he's a bench warmer at best. Best scenario: city should be loan him out pronto.

FIFA should be disbanded over Qatar debacle

FIFA should be disbanded and Sepp Blatter should resign as a result of the Qatar debacle.

Hear no evil.  Qatar debacle: what me worry?

FIFA and UEFA have given up on the original plan for futuristic air conditioned stadiums that were supposed to allow for a summer World Cup in Qatar.  They have approved moving the 2022 World Cup to winter and a showdown looms with the major European clubs in a year's time for their approval for the move.

What happened to the fancy air-conditioned stadiums we were promised?

I think the clubs would be crazy to allow this change to occur.  FIFA awarded the 2022 Cup to Qatar on the basis that it could be done in the heat of a Middle Eastern summer.   If Qatar will not host it in summer they should be stripped of hosting rights. But FIFA is not backing down.  This is why FIFA should be disbanded.

There were plenty of other hosts who could have hosted a successful summer Cup, and one host in the southern hemisphere where it would be winter in July -- Australia.   I think Frank Lowy and FFA are rightly aggrieved that FIFA wants to move the 2022 Cup to a northern hemisphere winter.

Any one of these (other) World Cup bidders would have been better than Qatar

The successful Qatar bid shows that FIFA is corrupt and easily bribed.  Every FIFA voting member with the possible exception of Franz Beckenbauer should resign for corruption in my opinion.

Qatar should be stripped of its 2022 hosting rights and a totally new FIFA should be built from the ground up.

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Michel Platini's 4+5 rule is a way to reel in the financial success of the English Premier League.  I don't agree with the proposal to limit foreign players at all, because I don't agree with the philosophy that you need that many home grown players, namely 5, playing in every team in the domestic competition in order to have a good national team.

Taking the example of England, if there are only 2 English players in every Premier League team that's still 2 x 20 = 40 players to choose from.  As it is about 68 English players will start in the EPL this season. Add a few more from the Championship and from outside of England and that's quite a lot of players to choose from.

In my opinion having lots of foreign players flood the English Premier league is only going to improve the standard and therefore the quality of players in the England national team.

I also think England should get 1 - 2 more Champions League places. Look at the great competition among the top six teams in the EPL. 

Odds to win EPL 26 Oct 2013

All six of the EPL's top teams (above) belong in the Champions League in my opinion.  But with the prevailing Anglophobia at UEFA led by continentalists like Platini I doubt that will happen any time soon.

Angela Merkel's phone hacked: nothing to see here

Just don't mention the war! 

Don't think anything of the German Chancellor Angela Merkel's phone being hacked by US intelligence agencies. It's all routine. Routine hacking of an allied leader's phone. For security purposes you understand. 

The best photographic manipulation Google ads can buy

You can't be too careful, what with Adolf Hitler, the Third Reich and all that. Angela could be the next Hitler you know! Hence it's perfectly justifiable...to tap her phone right? Well no, it's completely unjustifiable; we should not be spying on our allies if it's really about fighting terrorism and not just big brother-style surveillance of everyone.

It's as silly as governor Jesse Ventura being frisked by the TSA at an airport when everyone damn well knows who he is.

I wasn't that surprised when whistle-blower Edward Snowden revealed that US spy agencies spy on everyone.  The US insists that it's just terrorists they're monitoring, but I've always suspected that everyone was monitored all the time by the government.  Just another reason why the government is our enemy and not our friend.

Anti-dentite bastard

"Tim Whatley was one of my students, and if this wasn't my son's wedding day, I'd knock your teeth out, you anti-dentite bastard." - Seinfeld, the Yada Yada.

What is with people and their fear of dentists!? After that attention grabbing headline followed by a rather flimsy segue, here is a fascinating (not) story about my recent trip to the dentist.

I just had a dentist appointment with a new dentist and I thought the lady who was interviewing me was the assistant, not the dentist, as most dental assistants are women. So I'm answering her questions thinking: it's nice to have this chat but the real questions will come when the dentist comes in, not realising I was talking to the real dentist! When I realised she was the dentist I was too embarrassed to mention it.

Anyhow, it wasn't that embarrassing a slip up because I did answer all of her questions candidly and openly, so no harm done, but you can imagine my surprise when suddenly she reaches for the tools and starts looking in my mouth. 

Also there was another person there, a dental assistant who was indeed a woman, yet that still didn't clue me into the fact that the woman I was talking to was the real dentist! Oh well. 

In retrospect I realise that my dentist was the one wearing white, while the dental assistant was wearing something blue. So I know for the future: the one in white is the dentist (regardless of gender).

I told them I've got a huge cavity on my right side -- I felt it there a few days ago. I was picking some food out of my mouth and felt what I thought was a 1mm wide cavity along the length of the top of one of my top back molars. 

When I looked at it in the mirror it was brown. I thought: my god how did such a big cavity form so quickly without me noticing?! And I confessed to my dentist my sin of not brushing my teeth consistently before bedtime. I thought: my oral sins have come back to haunt me.  She took one look at it and said: that's tartar.

I was embarrassed for the second time in this dental appointment. I had mistaken tartar build up for a huge cavity! After a thoroughly professional clean my mouth was sparkly and spanking new, the tartar gone. I had freaked out over nothing!

It was good to get a new dentist though and actually I think she was better than my old one who was rougher and always scraped all of my teeth hard with a metal pick.  This lady just looked at my teeth for the initial inspection. (I suppose she would have been on the lookout for holes as she scrapped the tartar off.)

I go to the dentist at least once a year nowadays.  But I had a naughty period where I didn't see one for eight years. I didn't know you had to go to one regularly to get the tartar scrapped off your teeth, and that you can't scrape it off yourself. 

Worst of all, at the beginning of that eight year dentist-hiatus the last dentist I saw frightened me into not brushing well along the gum line because, he said, once you scrape off your gum cells they never grow back.

So I tended not to brush thoroughly near the gum line, which weakened my enamel near the gum line leaving me with a vulnerability to cavities ever since. I would have been about 16 years old when I saw that dentist, and then I didn't see one until I was 24.

Funny thing about that dentist was, he said I wasn't making consistent eye contact with him and he took me through a guided meditation until I would look at him with a consistent stare. 

The appointment went for a long time as a result, so long that there was no time for my father, who was also due to see him, to have his appointment.  When my father and I left I didn't have to say anything to him about the weirdness of the guided meditation incident and he said: I don't think we'll go to this dentist anymore, and we didn't!

So long Holger, no hard feelings

Osieck sacked (right)

After two 6 - 0 drubbings, I agree with this decision to sack Holger Osieck as Australia national coach, as it's time for a change.  But I don't blame Holger for the recent poor form of the Australian side. Australia is in a transition phase now and every generation can't be golden, at least not yet.

Osieck did well as coach of Australia.  He got us to the World Cup.  But it's good that he goes because Australia needs to rebuild and we need fresh ideas.

The players are more of a problem than Holger, especially the older ones.  Lucas Neill should retire. Holman has been disappointing. Marc Bresciano is playing well but at 33 he's the type of player we should be looking to wean the national team off.

Another problem was described by TV commentator Mark Bosnich who said that Holger has lost the players (respect) in the dressing room.  In a recent Foxsports interview (link) Bresciano denied this. He made it seem uncontroversial.

Yet there seemed to be a lack of will power in the two recent games against France and Brazil.  If so, such team discord is probably lead by senior players like Neill, and possibly the likes of Tim Cahill. Yet all deny it. Is the denial believable or is it just good politics on their part -- a sort of code of silence?

Cahill is still a key man for Australia and is still doing well at club level.  Lucas Neill by contrast has been on a steady decline club-wise drifting on and out of Middle Eastern leagues and languishing.

Matt McKay was only ever a stop-gap measure who played a good role in Asian games but isn't really up to top class football, not that many else in the team are up to it.  But I never want to see McKay in an Australian jumper again.

Wilkshire is also languishing and is past his prime too.  Carney I still have hopes for, but his club record is so inconsistent -- a bit of an odd one.  I would like to see younger guys coming in like Lowry.

Schwarzer's move to become the second keeper at Chelsea was weird. I can understand why he did it for his own reasons: looking for his future after retirement, perhaps he can become a goal keeping coach at Chelsea. 

Chelsea's close to his London home. His family is comfortable in England and will want to stay, so Schwarzer must too. But I think it rightly damages his claim to be the national keeper and we have an able replacement right now in Langerak. He's been a legend for Australia, but I think we should dump Schwarzer now.

Foxtel TV commentators were lamenting that the current poor form of the national team will tarnish the good deeds of the "golden generation" -- the class of 2006 that did so well. I disagree.  The current humiliation is disappointing, but it does not throw water on the fire of 2006.

Hopefully a new generation of Australian footballers is still being built and we will improve in the future.  Although the current youth teams don't inspire much hope, getting pummelled in international competitions.

Some say there's enough room for all codes in Australia.  Maybe so, but there is a lot of bias toward AFL and NRL.  The media is familiar with these sports and there's a lot of money in them.  I get frustrated with the extreme lack of footballing news in this country. I hate wading through 50 minutes of AFL and NRL to get to 2 paltry minutes of football coverage in a one hour sports show.

This year I got excited when the AFL and NRL grand finals were over because I thought it meant we would get more football news.  I was mistaken. A week or two later since those finals and the sports headlines are still dominated by AFL and NRL.  It's like Australian sports reporters don't know how to report on sports other than AFL, NRL and rugby; maybe that's true. Or maybe they just think that soccer isn't worth reporting on?

Although having said that, the last week since Holger has been fired there's been quite a lot of football news, which is good to see.

There is cultural and media bias against football in Australia.  If we all watched football like we do AFL/NRL we would be a major footballing power. Every year would be a golden generation like for countries in Europe.  But you know what, just forget about that Australia: let's play sports that only we are good at, that way we will be the best in the world every time!

Aussie rules is a sport that only played in Australia that has no prospect for expansion anywhere in the world except Nauru.  Rugby league is played in England and New Zealand as well as Australia, but the best domestic comp and players are in Australia.  And guess what?  We have the world's best teams in both those codes, always have and probably always will.

So who cares if we get defeated 6 - 0 in Paris in soccer?  If we make up our own sports, we can have the best teams in the world! Mainly because we have the only teams in the world.  Well done Australia, you're best at something only you do.

Anyhow the theory is that if you're going to be smashed at a tournament, such as the upcoming World Cup in Brazil 2014, you may as well do it with young guys and an eye to the future (a future that doesn't look that good).

Who should definitely leave:

Brett Holman

Lucas Neill

Luke Wilkshire

Harry Kewell

Sasa Ognenovski

Who should probably leave:

Matt McKay 

Marc Bresciano

Mark Schwarzer

Types of player we should focus on:

Tommy Oar
Mitch Langarak
Robbie Kruse
Mathew Leckie
Rhys Williams
Tom Rogic
Ryan McGowan

Nothing to see here folks, move on!